St. Louis Sports Online #65 (4.5.96)

StLSO #65 Contents 1.0 Mustn't See TV by RANDY HU 2.0 $tL$O Ba$eball Prediction$ 3.0 Ambushed by RANDY HU 4.0 Off-Base Englishman Strikes Out; Payback Pitch By Mail Averts Rhubarb by ANDY AYERS StLSO APRIL.96.21.0 Mustn't See TV by RANDY HUThe Blues and coach/GM Mike Keenan are a sportswriter's dream. They give journalists enough fodder to gripe about with their controversial, high-risk moves to encompass several lifetimes. From the exiling of fan favorites to the acquisition of Wayne Gretzky, now comes the advent of pay-per-view (PPV) television for home playoff games in the first two rounds. Based on what I've seen this year, the up-and-down Blues will be lucky to win a couple of games before they''re ousted in the first round. As if raising ticket prices and making the game unaffordable to many fans weren't insult enough, this latest announcement is nothing more than legalized extortion, similar to the Rams PSLs. The Blues seem intent on squeezing out every possible nickel from the same fans who would rather walk five blocks than pay for parking. Although Blues President Jack Quinn insists that PPV doesn't coincide with Gretzky's arrival, I assume he thinks the turnip truck runs a regular shuttle route to the Kiel Center before home games. The Kiel Partners are seizing the opportunity to use The Great One to market PPV for this aging team, better known as the "Over the Hill Street Blues." When the Gretzky trade was announced on February 27th, I said the initial hype was overblown. In reality, the Blues are below .500 with him and are scoring fewer goals despite his presence. Even before the injury bug bit Brett Hull, Shayne Corson, Grant Fuhr, Tony Twist, Rob Pearson, and Yuri Khmylev, the Blues were toast in the first round. Yet team officials expect you to fork out twenty bucks to witness this debacle, despite KPLR's (Channel 11) attempt to keep home games on free TV. As Gordon Gekko said in Wall Street, "Greed is good." And this is just the beginning. If enough fans buy into the program, wait until next year when the Blues try to incorporate PPV into the regular season. The only way to combat PPV from becoming widespread is to not order the games or patronize the bars that show them. Period. Is the piece of change the Blues stand to make on PPV worth the public backlash and fan alienation? For chrissake, Keenan is still paying millions of dollars to players who donít even wear the Bluenote anymore. The timing of the announcement of PPV is incredibly poor, considering that the baseball season started this week. The Cardinals will be the beneficiaries of the priced-out, peed-off hockey fan. Logistically, only half of the homes in the St. Louis market (approximately 200,000) subscribe to cable and are capable of ordering the games. The Blues need about a 3% subscriber rate to make money. The diehards will be tying up the phone lines, trying to figure out a way to invite themselves over to a buddy's house. Better bring over a six-pack, some Doritos, and a five-spot. Only four other teams in the NHL will use PPV in the playoffs this year: Detroit, Pittsburgh, Colorado, and Chicago. Fans in those cities will pay to see their talented, exciting teams advance in the playoffs. Even Gretzky and Hull can't save the Blues this year. Though Gretzky has said he wants to stay in St. Louis, don't be surprised if he tests the free agent market. By his own choice, Keenan has put immense pressure on his squad to win now. Pressure is different for teams such as the Chicago Bulls, Detroit Red Wings, and the Kentucky Wildcats. These teams have superior talent and bench depth, so it's easier to overcome adversity. The Blues have little talent and depth, with no one left in the minors to provide a spark. Grizzled veterans such as Charlie Huddy, Glenn Anderson, and Craig MacTavish add experience, but little else. For the masses sake, are there 6,000 suckers out there ready to subscribe? Keep PPV in the boxing ring, where it belongs. EDITOR'S NOTE: Randy Hu is the hockey writer for The Riverfront Times. You can also hear him Wednesday mornings on all-sports KFNS (590 AM).2.0 $tL$O Ba$eball Prediction$At the end of the 1995 season, the 31 players on the Cardinals roster had a combined salary of just over $28 million. The '95 Cardinals finished fourth in NL Central, 22.5 games behind the division-leading Cincinnati Reds. But perhaps most distressingly to the nation's Redbird lovers, the Cards '95 record (62-81) placed them 10.5 games behind the third-place Cubbies. Now it's Opening Day. How will the NL Central stack up in 1996? What criteria should be used to handicap the Redbirds, the Redlegs, the Northsiders, the 'Stros, and the Buccos as these five clubs strive to make post-season play? How about payroll? The 1995 salaries for Reds players on their NL Central-leading end-of-season roster totalled $47 million. Analogous figures for the second-place Astros, Cubs, and last-place Pirates were $34, $36, and $17 million, respectively. In other words, for teams in the NL Central, there was a fair-to-middlin' relationship between a club's year-end salary figures and that organization's final position within the division. To repeat: in the 1995 NL Central, 1st place = $47 million; 2nd place = $34 million; 3rd place = $36 million; 4th place = $28 million; and 5th place = $17 million. (Those darn Cubs...screwing up everything!) Now...according to USA Today, 1996 NL Central Opening Day salaries are as follows-- *Cincinnati: $41 million *St. Louis: $39 million *Chicago: $31 million *Houston: $27 million *Pittsburgh: $21 million Those salary data make one thing clear--compared to last year, Marge Schott's Reds have come closer to the pack (trimmed their payroll by $8 million), while the Bill DeWitt-Fred Hanser-Drew Bauer-led Cardinals have opened their wallets in a much-lauded effort to boost baseball in St. Louis. So, using Opening Day player salary data as our sole (soul?!) guide, the $tL$O NL Central predictions are as follows. Reds in first...followed by the Cards, Cubs, and Astros...with Jim Leyland's Pirates dwelling the cellar. And using similar criteria for the rest of the league, here's how the NL's Eastern and Central Division's will stack up come playoff time. *Eastern Division Atlanta: $48 million Florida: $30 million Philadelphia: $30 million New York: $24 million Montreal: $15 million *Western Division Colorado: $38 million San Francisco: $35 million Los Angeles: $35 million San Diego: $27 million Using salaries as the sole guide, then, the Braves will meet (and defeat) the wild-card Cardinals in one half of the NL playoffs, while the Reds will defeat the Rockies in the other series. Atlanta will then defeat the Reds and, as in 1995, represent the National League in the 1996 World Series. A similar analysis leads to the conclusion that the Yankees ($53 million total '96 payroll), Orioles ($49 million), Indians ($46 million), and Mariners ($38 million) will make up the Junior Circuit's Final Four. Once again, using salaries as our guide to the AL playoffs, Joe Torre's Yankees will satisfy Boss George and represent the American League in the World Series. We like good guy Torre...and predict that his $53 million Yankees will dethrone Bobby Cox's $48 million Braves. Good luck Joe. And one more thing. Should Mariano Duncan fail to make the grade at second base, Geronimo Pena's available. 3.0 Ambushed by RANDY HU The St. Louis Ambush have advanced to the division finals of the National Professional Soccer League playoffs with an impressive 14-12 win at Milwaukee in the third and deciding game of their opening round series last Tuesday. The victory capped a great comeback by the Ambush after they dropped the series opener to the Wave. Forward Steve Maurer led the 'Bush with six goals in the series, overcoming a scoring drought in the first two games by teammate snipers Mark Moser and Joe Reiniger, who finally hit the scoresheet with two goals and a single tally, respectively. The Ambush, the defending NPSL champions, are going to need this balanced scoring if they are to get by their next opponents, the rival Kansas City Attack. The Attack were consistent all year, finishing first in the division, living up to their team moniker with an attacking offense and solid defensive play. Despite an 18-16 opening game loss to the Attack on Friday night, if the Ambush play a smothering defense and get solid goaltending from their tandem netminders, Jamie Swanner and Bill Cowie, they should advance to the NPSL finals against the Cleveland Crunch. I expect the crunch to blow away the Baltimore Spirit in the other division final. On a media note, thumbs down to Ambush owner Dr. Abe Hawatmeh for dumping Ambush play-by-play announcer Bob Ramsey for Game 2 of the series to be shown on Prime Sports. In my opinion, replacing Ramsey is outrageous in light of Ramsey's tireless promotion of the Ambush. KMOX's Ron Jacober is slated to stand in for Ramsey. Also in the soccer world, the brand new Major Soccer League makes its debut this Saturday, as professional outdoor soccer returns to the United States. The 10-team league will play a 32-game schedule and own the individual teams. There will be plenty of national and a few international stars to market, unlike the National American Soccer League in the 1970's. With the US's impressive showing in the 1994 World Cup, soccer has made a comeback here. ESPN and ESPN2 coverage, promotional efforts to youngsters, and plenty of offense will make the game exciting to soccer enthusiasts and new fans of the sport. Teams include the Kansas City Wiz, Tampa Bay Mutiny, Colorado Rapids, Columbus Crew, New York MetroStars, New England Revolution, D.C. United, Los Angeles Galaxy, San Jose Clash, and Dallas Burn. Players to watch are Alexi Lalas, New England; Tab Ramos, New York; Hugo Sanchez, Dallas; and Carlos Valderrama, Tampa Bay. 4.0 Off-Base Englishman Strikes Out; Payback Pitch By Mail Averts Rhubarb by ANDY AYERS It was probably my red Cardinal cap that turned the conversation to the subject of baseball. The ebullient Brit was soon cheerfully regaling me with his opinion of the game: Plainly among the most unsophisticated and boorish of human endeavors. Pursued professionally by a woefully untalented group of demanding and ill-bred louts. At best, a beastfully tiresome diversion for the somnambulant rubes in attendance. He could not have failed to detect my astonishment at this outrageous sacrilege, but he continued nonetheless, his face fairly shining with merriment. It is bloody incredible, he insisted, America's obsession with a game of such witless simplicity. There's no athletic prowess involved in a man hitting a little ball with a stick of wood anyway. And so on and on. Obviously, these scurrilous attacks upon our dignified national pastime demanded a response of some sort. But how to begin? The very magnitude of his inaccuracy made a point by point rebuttal seem trite and defensive. Just as I began to feel a great wellspring of resentment toward this rude and bombastic individual, I was struck, like Saul on the road to Damascus, by a realization - his slanderous invective revealed more than an over-inflated ego and simple ignorance. Indeed, it betrayed an almost incomprehensible poverty of spirit. With this insight, my indignation was transformed into pity. Forbearance took the place of rage. Of course he could not be held to account for his behavior. This unfortunate character was merely the hapless victim of a culturally deprived environment. After taking some time to reflect, I sent this letter to his office in Stoke-on-Trent, England: Mr. _________: I very much enjoyed meeting you when you dined here last week. I asked for your business card with the intention of responding to your comments about our national sport in a way that is approporiate to the game itself, which is to say in a thoughtful and well-measured manner. I can easily believe that you don't share in the fascination, not to say the reverence, with which we Americans regard the game of baseball. This isn't difficult to understand. Quite simply, you are not a product of the cultural milieu for which the game serves as the central paradigm of shared experience. It has been uniquely formative to our national identity as Americans and even to our language. For those of us who came of age with baseball, its appreciation is as natural as driving on the right and passing on the left. For me, there are few things I enjoy as much as I do the pacing and cadence, the subtleties and nuances of a well-played baseball game. While baseball as a source of deep personal satisfaction seems to me an integral part of the human experience, I suppose I must admit that it is only an accident of birth and geography, having to do with being American. You see, in this country we insist that everyone is entitled to a level playing field. We, ourselves, always play by the ground rules and we consider those who don't to be way off base. In offering an estimate, we Americans speak of a ballpark figure. A detailed table of statistics is a box score, a percentage is referred to as a batting average and the careful, sequential description of the details of an event is a play-by-play account. We Americans have learned the hard way that we must be on the ball if we aspire to bat a thousand. We have a great deal of respect for an all-star but not much time for minor leaguers or those we consider to be way off in left field. And we are likely to bench anyone whom we perceive to be, like yourself, a grandstander. While we are prepared to root for anyone who plays hardball, we are quick to go to bat for the losing side, especially if we feel that they started with two strikes against them. On those rare occasions when we feel ourselves out of our league, we toe the rubber for a moment, step out of the box and take another practice swing. We try to touch all the bases and avoid at all costs being caught in a squeeze play. We know that it ain't over until it's over, which is to say, when the fat lady sings. Even the English eventually learned not to throw us a curve, as we Americans are well known for keeping our eye on the ball. Historically, when we've found ourselves in a slump, even in our worst clutch situations when we can't seem to get to first base, do we take a raincheck? No, we have always swung for the fences and come up with a ninth inning rally, after which it's been a whole new ball game. I don't know if you understand America';s appreciation for the game of baseball any better now, but if not, well, you can't win 'em all. Personally, I would think such an understanding would be a routine play, even for a rookie like yourself. EDITOR'S NOTE: Andy Ayers is the proprietor at Riddles, a University City restaurant (6307 Delmar) located across the street from the newly-remodeled Tivoli theater. His article was originally published in a newsletter available at Riddles.

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