The Headlines

by Mark Bausch
posted 2.22.99



If the St. Louis Post-Dispatch can print "Cards Osborne vows to be a team leader this season", well...we have ten of our own headlines...

1. Mike Shannon Named Editor of Webster's Dictionary
2.
Kiel Center renamed Quinn Center--Complete with Statue...
3.
Spoon Lauds Play of Big Men
4.
Tony Banks Likes Area...Buys Home in South St. Louis
5.
Clinton, Citing the Need to Control Spending, Asks Keenan to Run US Treasury Department
6.
Twist, Chase...Lady Byng?
7.
Gant and Brantley to Adopt Stray Cats, Endorse Vegetarianism
8.
Vermeil Endorses Tough Love
9.
Free Food Distributed to St. Louisans; Sportswriters Absent?!
10.
Juan Agosto Un-retires; Vows to Close for Redbirds