St. Louis Sports Online

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Mike Huss "The Fuss According to Huss" St. Louis Sports Online lead columnist and host of "Sportstalk" on WGNU AM-920 (8:00-9:00 pm Tuesdays and Thursdays)

Ah, Spring!!

This is a great time of the year if you are a sports fan. Spring brings you the start of the baseball season, when every team is a contender. Spring brings you of the college basketball tournaments. Spring brings you the NFL Draft. Spring brings you the NHL playoffs,the Kentucky Derby, and the Indianapolis 500.

Spring also brings you the start of the Fantasy Baseball Season.

That's right. For those who are fondly referred to as "no life geeks", this time of the year is truly hog heaven. It is the start of the new chapter in those in the coveted rotisserie leagues. Where else can you buy, sell, trade and manage real life baseball players for fun, frolic and personal gratification???

And while I joke about these Fantasy Geeks, I also make fun of myself.

Dear Readers, with a heavy heart, I need to make the following admission: Hi, my name is Mike and I participate in a fantasy baseball league.

That's right. 1999 marks year three of my tenure as an owner of a fantasy baseball team. In theory, fantasy baseball does provide a learning vehicle for those of us who follow, report and discuss the game. Theoretically, it forces us to study the performances, trends and accomplishments of Major League players and teams. Heck, I knew all about Darren Bragg before he signed his free agent contract with the Cardinals during the off season.

My co-owner (and stepson, Dan) and I have developed the same Management style over the past two seasons: start off gung-ho in the month of April, begin slowing down in May, start finding better things to do in June, then realize that you do not have the time, desire, or interest to keep the team going from July to October.

Dan and I have mastered that strategy successfully over the past two seasons. In year one, our efforts produced and eighth place finish (out of eight teams). Last year, our Management philosophy and five year plan produced tangible results; as our team catapulted an entire one position at season's end.

This season, our league's competition has gotten much stronger with the addition of my St. Louis Sports On-Line colleague, Tom Ackerman, as a new owner. Aside from being extremely talented, articulate and knowledgeable, Tom has raised the median IQ level, while bringing down the median age of the owners of my league.

During the past two seasons, I have witnessed first hand the good, bad, and ugly of fantasy baseball. I have seen with my own eyes, and have heard with my own ears how fantasy sports can engulf the lives of many of its participants.

So, as a public service to you readers and perhaps first time fantasy participants, allow me to provide some assistance. With all due apologizes to David Letterman, but more importantly, to my fellow SLSO'er Iron Horse, allow me to give you the Top Ten reasons why you might be taking your fantasy baseball team way too seriously. Direct from the home office in St. Charles, Missouri, here we go:

10 You can name the third catcher of the Montreal Expos and reserve middle infielder of the Florida Marlins.

9 You are proud that you can name the third catcher of the Montreal Expos and reserve middle infielder of the Florida Marlins.

8 You are more concerned about Wilton Guerrero"s or Sammy Sosa's performance than the report card of your oldest child.

7 It bothers you that the Cardinals released Pat Kelly.

6 Not only do you provide your fantasy team a nickname, but you also construct a logo and team colors.

5 You have stress over this dilemma: do you root for one of your fantasy players if he is playing against your favorite Major League team??

4 You push the league to trim down your roster on December 23.

3 You are experiencing sleepless nights because J D Drew is 4 for 18 in his first six games.

2 You are concerned about the number of Holds Relief Pitchers compile

And the Number One Reason why you might be taking your fantasy baseball league way too seriously:

1 You start referring to the players on your fantasy team in terms of the first person (i e. "I have three pitchers starting tonight", or "I had four home runs, two stolen bases, and a save last night", etc.)

To those of you who fall into these behaviors: remember, there is help out there, but admission is the first step to total recovery!!

See you in the Second Division!!